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There will be times where we disagree with an idea or hear speech that is offensive. The best response to speech that we find offensive, hateful or wrong is to have more speech and not less.

Silencing, canceling or shouting over others with whom we disagree is rarely effective. Here are some things you can do when you disagree or encounter offensive speech:

• Engage in civil conversation: Allow the other person to share their point of view without interrupting. Ask questions, be respectful and try to understand another person’s perspective on an issue. You might learn something new or at least be better able to understand where someone is coming from, even if you still don’t agree.
• Decide when to walk away: Sometimes people will say or do things just to get a reaction. If civil or factual conversation is not going to happen, know when to walk away and do not respond physically.
• Share your own point of view: Start a blog, write a guest editorial for your local or campus newspaper or consider scheduling your own event to have your voice heard.  
• Engage in peaceful, non-disruptive protest: Just as the First Amendment protects a speaker’s right to express their views, it also protects the right to peaceably assemble in protest. Students should become familiar with the CUUF policy and Student Code of Conduct to host an effective, peaceful protest. Reasonable time, place or manner regulations may apply to protest activity.

If you feel like you are being singled out or targeted in a way that may violate CU’s discrimination and harassment policies, contact OIEC.

What happens when you disagree with a friend? How do you respond if a family member says something offensive? Even when people have the best intentions, we can find ourselves in difficult conversations.

Here’s how to make these interactions feel more productive and positive:

• Remember that we can both love and spend time with our friends and family members while disagreeing with them. This internal conflict can be expected and doesn't necessarily have to be resolved.
• In a conversation, allow the other person to share their point of view without interrupting.
  Be willing to consider what someone else has to say instead of forming your response to what they are saying in your head.
• What you mean to say is not always what the other person hears — think about the intent and impact of your message.
• If the conversation or situation gets heated, it can be difficult to make any progress. In these situations, de-escalating and returning to the facts are important. Reiterate why this conversation is important and that you value the other person, acknowledge that you recognize they value you as well, and refocus on what feels important for you to say.
• Reframe the conversation as a healthy dialogue. If the volume ticks up, use your own voice to bring it back down; if you find yourself getting frustrated, bring in a coping strategy before speaking again. If need be, ask to take a break and return to the conversation after everyone has time to cool off—maybe by taking a walk, having a snack, or getting a good night’s sleep.

While it would be nice, change doesn’t happen overnight. Conversations don’t always resolve the way we’d like, and more often than not, seeing progress requires a series of conversations and a willingness to keep trying. There is still value in finding our voices and saying what we need to say.

Additionally, others can’t always meet our expectations. Before going into a potentially stressful situation, it’s important to check-in with ourselves about what we’re expecting and what might realistically happen, so we can prepare emotionally.